Gone to Brighton!!
Last weekend we went to Brighton and we had a fab time!!!Nia was loving the seaside, I had a nice relaxing day and Jason managed to have a much needed nap on the beach too. We ate loads of sandwiches, fish and chips, donuts, ice cream and other stuff so last night I was shattered due to all the rubbish we stuffed ourselves with. I'd love to go there again as the atmosphere was very much like on a Spanish beach and it felt like we were on holiday even if only for the weekend.
But other than this there's something else on my mind:
My 20-year old sil is 2 months pregnant!!Before all of you go YAAAAY!! let me calm you down with some cold facts ( and I know I may get into trouble for saying these things, but I feel OK to express my opinion as it is MY opinion of this very specific pregnancy. So please do not be offended and mostly do not take it personal please.). So the facts are:
She's only been in this relationship for a few months and this is her first relationship with a guy (iykwim). She still lives at home with her mum and she was supposed to go to University this September (which is cancelled now due to pg.). She doesn't have education and only has been working for about 9 months (maybe a year) earning BASIC salary. And (although I really don't want to bring in the black-white racist-not racist card here but I must state the obvious:) she is a black girl trying to make ends meet in London.
The boyfriend is a 20 year old car mechanic, again, earning little money. They never lived together, never rented a flat or paid ONE bill, they don't know how to manage a household, let alone manage it on one salary.
Don't get me wrong; this baby would be loved very much by the whole family. But in my opinion the love of an auntie or an uncle o a grandma doesn't substitute the love of a whole (and not broken) family.
My mil raised her 3 kids all alone as the men (fathers of her children) left her every time. She struggled all her life and due to that struggle she looks (and according to her, she feels) 67 although she's only 47 years old!! She had Jason at the age of 20 when she had no education, no work experience and the man (Jay's Dad) left her once the baby was born. She had big dreams of becoming a nurse and all she could achieve was working in a steamy restaurant kitchen which is killing her slowly but surely. She is a great mother but I'm sure she wondered some days: what if I had waited a few more years? What if I decide differently?
And now I've come to my point.
As a mother I definitely DON'T encourage abortion. The life you give is beautiful and cannot be repeated.
But to repeat a pattern or a lifestyle so to speak just because you don't even consider another option - in my opinion - may be a huge mistake.
I really wish all the best to her but honestly, they will need ALL the luck in the world for them to succeed in everything. Their relationship will have to survive complex and trying times: living together for the first time, the joys and pains of a pregnancy, having a demanding newborn and a tired new mum at home, very little income and the big question: will she ever go to university or will she be just a single babymama from Brixton??
Oh, this became a little long-winded but I'm really concerned for my little sil's future. I hope she makes the right choice whatever that may be.
posted by Katuska @ Monday, July 24, 2006
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